What if I told you…
That what happened in the “past”…
is still happening ~today~
by the same white people…
That claim they’re innocent.
That would blow your fucking mind wouldn’t it
I don’t care how hot you are, if your personality is shit your physical appearance automatically means nothing
Inspired by the many complaints i’ve received of older Lilo’s resemblance to Nani.
as a kid, i wasn’t allowed to look up to celebrities or anyone who wasn’t a religious figure. but as soon as i started thinking for myself, i think my first celebrity role model must have been miranda otto, who played eowyn in lord of the rings. i wasn’t really devoted to her as a role model though, in fact i’ve never really had a role model, just people i admire at a distance. and i think it was her character in LOTR that i looked up to more, i don’t really know much about miranda herself. (sorry that this answer is sort of just changing and evolving, this is my thinking process.) i’ll stick to miranda otto for childhood, and for now in present day i think maybe lupita n’yongo because she is a fantastic and admirable human being
thanks for the question!
k this is looking much better. thank you, instrumental music
thank you, kind person! <3
wasn’t expecting for today to become what it did but i guess there’s nothing i can do about that. i’m feeling okay enough to paint and browse tumblr now and then but i don’t think i’ll do anything else today.
Stand naked in front of a mirror for a long time, under unflattering light if possible. Trace the rises and falls of the little ripples on your skin — the scars, the dimples, the cellulite — and think about how much you try to hide these things in your day-to-day. Wonder why you hate them so much, and if this hate stems from somewhere within yourself, or as a result of being told all your life that it’s wrong to have physical flaws. Wonder what you would think of your body if you never looked at a magazine, if you never thought about celebrities and models, if you never had to wonder where someone would rate you on a scale of 10. Look at yourself until the initial recoil softens, and you can consider your features in a more forgiving frame of mind.
Listen to the music which makes you want to both sob and dance with uninhibited joy, and allow yourself to repeat any song you want as many times as your heart desires. Think of the person you are when you have your favorite song in your headphones and are walking down a street you feel you own completely, swaying your hips and smiling for no good reason — remember how many things you love about yourself during those moments, how much you are willing to forgive in yourself, how confident you are for no good reason. Try to think of confidence as a gift you give yourself when you need it, instead of something you have to siphon from every unreliable source in your life. Dance because the music makes you remember how much you love yourself, not because it allows you to forget the fact that you don’t.
Write a list of all the things you like about yourself, even if you think it’s a self-indulgent and narcissistic activity. Start as early as you like in your life — put down that time you won a trophy playing little league soccer when you were eight and then got an extra-large shake at the DQ on the way home, and don’t feel silly for remembering it. Try to understand how many sources in your life happiness can come from, how many things you could be proud of if you chose to. Ask yourself why you so tightly limit the things you take pride in, why you set your own hurdles for happiness and fulfillment so much higher than you do with anyone else in your life. Let your list go on for pages and pages if you want it to.
Touch and care for yourself with the attention and the patience that you would someone you loved more than life itself. Rub lotion in small circles on your elbows and hands when it is cold and your skin is dry and cracked. Make soup for yourself when your nose is running and curl up, with your favorite movie, in a pile of expertly-stacked pillows. Light a few candles and let their glow flicker against your body. Admire how gentle they are, how delicately their warmth touches you — wonder why you don’t let yourself do the same. Soak your feet in warm water at the end of a long day, until they have forgiven you for walking on them for so long without so much as a “thank you.” Listen to your body when it aches to be touched, and don’t be afraid to give it every orgasm that you may have been too ashamed to ask for in someone else’s bed.
Be patient with yourself, and don’t worry if a switch doesn’t flip in you which abruptly takes you from “crippling self-doubt” to “uncompromising self-love.” Allow yourself all the trepidation and clumsy, uneven infatuation that you would with a promising stranger. Try only to be kinder, to be softer, and to remember all of the things within you which are worth loving. Listen to the voice in the back of your head which tells you, as much out of sadness as anger, “You are ugly. You are stupid. You are boring.” Give it the fleeting moment of attention it so craves, and then remind it, “Even if that were true, I’d still be worth loving.”
River Flows in You - Yiruma
Oh, and while we’re talking about sex-repulsed people:
- It’s okay if you’re sex-repulsed because you have experienced sexual abuse or trauma in your past.
- It’s okay if you’re sex-repulsed because sex feels painful, uncomfortable or frightening to you.
- It’s okay if you’re sex-repulsed and there’s no “cause” for it, it’s just how you’ve always been.
- It’s okay if you feel sex-repulsed sometimes and not repulsed at other times, or if you’ve become more/less sex-repulsed over time.
- It’s okay to be afraid of sex.
- It’s okay to think that sex is disgusting.
- It’s okay to like reading/watching fictional sex but not want it in real life.
- It’s okay to be repulsed by some sexual things but not by other sexual things.
- None of the above things make your feelings weird, messed-up or unhealthy.
- You don’t need to “overcome” your dislike of sex. If you’re happier without sex, then that’s great, you don’t need to change.
- If you want to become more comfortable with sex, or if you think therapy will help you be happier with yourself, then that’s fine, too.
- If your partner wants you to do something sexual that you’re not comfortable with, then they’re the one in the wrong, and they need to stop. Your feelings and comfort are important, and you never owe sex to anyone.
- If your partner wants you to change, or to stop being sex-repulsed or asexual, then they are wrong. You deserve a partner who loves you the way you are, respects your feelings, and doesn’t ask you to change for them.
- You do not need to be sex-positive, or willing to have sex, in order to be a “healthy” or “normal” asexual person.
- Some sex-repulsed people aren’t asexual-spectrum. All of the above applies to them, too!
- Whatever your feelings about sex are, it is perfectly okay to feel the way you do, and there is nothing bad, abnormal or wrong about your feelings.
people who can draw a star without having crossing lines in the middle really have their life together
i have instrumental music playlists on 8tracks to listen to and my painting is in my room. i’m gonna finish this.